Oh yeah, you haven't heard from me for a while. Well I was in the world of ordinary people...gone to the market place.
Once I heard, read, Osho was saying: go away sometimes to come back, go ashtray to go deeper in meditation. Not exact words but the meaning that I got.
Yes I dropped everything and gone to travel without the light... Music was my meditation for these days, I separate myself from everything and in the tube full of people with the music in my headphones I felt bliss and happiness...lightening candle in the dark... I enjoyed the work and the flow... I danced on the dance floor with strange people...
Have seen Amma and felt so much love even just near by the building she was...even stronger. It was a great moment and I will go in detail here.
I was in a bit of hurry and thought I would be late. Train stopped. The way was up on the hill, beside the Alexandra Palace amazing park and view. I'm going up Sudha singing in my ears and suddenly I feel one with this amazing autum nature...closer to the palace I feel the waves of love pouring on me and tears start just flowing from my eyes...I almost run...the beauty of that day I will never forget...
Than we had amazing evening with Amma and afterwards almost at midnight we were discovering the park...night. Fresh after rain. The clouds and somewhere busy London....
Its been few weeks but Dynamic wasn't at my home.
Life is rolling forward my meditation is his voice now on the way to work and back. With new job I can do Dynamic every morning but I can't start... Need a kick again...oh its so me :))) anyway I understood that we need a commune to be inspired for meditation, well at least its work for me, and its coming up in the next month and I'm delighted that there will be another place for meditation!!!
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Day 21
Alarm goes on and on....
Time is limited...
No tea no honey, I brush my teeth and up on my yoga mat. My body exhausted with the hours that I do. I'm confused to go on or not....
I was cheeky today, as I needed to go to work, I cut dynamic.
Breathing was through sleep but I finished....its very hard I tried to be there but even not that deep breathing was taking me away.
Oh catharsis, I'm still asleep and nothing going out, a bit of shaking and silent sitting and I switch to Hoo Hoo Hoo and I jump with my totality and my body wakes up for some moment I'm not there just the body who jumps....STOP and I sit in silence...I'm driven away somewhere...I come back and I start dancing to the day that comes my way....
Today I was on the edge to drop all this idea of 40days and meditate time to time...but there is nothing in life more than meditation that gives me bliss and silence...keep on!!!
Meditation rocks!
Jai Osho!
Time is limited...
No tea no honey, I brush my teeth and up on my yoga mat. My body exhausted with the hours that I do. I'm confused to go on or not....
I was cheeky today, as I needed to go to work, I cut dynamic.
Breathing was through sleep but I finished....its very hard I tried to be there but even not that deep breathing was taking me away.
Oh catharsis, I'm still asleep and nothing going out, a bit of shaking and silent sitting and I switch to Hoo Hoo Hoo and I jump with my totality and my body wakes up for some moment I'm not there just the body who jumps....STOP and I sit in silence...I'm driven away somewhere...I come back and I start dancing to the day that comes my way....
Today I was on the edge to drop all this idea of 40days and meditate time to time...but there is nothing in life more than meditation that gives me bliss and silence...keep on!!!
Meditation rocks!
Jai Osho!
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Day 20
Who said that you have to love meditation? Especially dynamic... Rrrrrr
Right from the last night some kind of hate was coming up from me during 3 hours dance meditation including Osho techniques, no don't take me wrong I love Osho techniques but pure Osho...well I did enjoyed couple of time this experiment but last night my mind was super active! Anyway got home late, didn't even finished the post.
6.30am alarm is waking me up! Oh I hate weekends! Late sleep early morning!!! I'm in bed till 7am but then I get up and go...
Breathing stage emm on and off hard hard still sleeping.
Catharsis the same story. Very quite.
My favourite Hoo and I jump without my body deep asleep...not for long tho...than I just set down and listened the music Hoo...
I'm upset I'm angry with myself! Grrr...
Had delicious breakfast and on my way to work. Just by analysing or looking back on this experience, yesterday I was reading Osho in search of miraculous where he is saying that people are scared to meet God and that kundalini energy will arise only when we use all life energy or throw it out and importance of being TOTAL in meditation. And I'm not total at all. Yes sometimes it comes naturally but not always. But his words make different meaning, sharing this with my friend he went completely total last night, and hi was just like a light bulb after it... And I completely in the mind. Well in the other book Osho said to respect awareness and un awareness. Oh but its hard, as nothing matters apart from meditation but mind is very stubborn....
Right from the last night some kind of hate was coming up from me during 3 hours dance meditation including Osho techniques, no don't take me wrong I love Osho techniques but pure Osho...well I did enjoyed couple of time this experiment but last night my mind was super active! Anyway got home late, didn't even finished the post.
6.30am alarm is waking me up! Oh I hate weekends! Late sleep early morning!!! I'm in bed till 7am but then I get up and go...
Breathing stage emm on and off hard hard still sleeping.
Catharsis the same story. Very quite.
My favourite Hoo and I jump without my body deep asleep...not for long tho...than I just set down and listened the music Hoo...
I'm upset I'm angry with myself! Grrr...
Had delicious breakfast and on my way to work. Just by analysing or looking back on this experience, yesterday I was reading Osho in search of miraculous where he is saying that people are scared to meet God and that kundalini energy will arise only when we use all life energy or throw it out and importance of being TOTAL in meditation. And I'm not total at all. Yes sometimes it comes naturally but not always. But his words make different meaning, sharing this with my friend he went completely total last night, and hi was just like a light bulb after it... And I completely in the mind. Well in the other book Osho said to respect awareness and un awareness. Oh but its hard, as nothing matters apart from meditation but mind is very stubborn....
Saturday, 17 October 2009
Day 19
5am and I'm up. Put my robe...its so dark outside, I feel sleepy... Lemon tea, honey all the same routine.
Breathing....in and out in the darkness of this morning, in and out faster and faster..but still I am a sleep.
I'm in my bed already, it was a long day ... So I will add tomorrow what's left...
Breathing....in and out in the darkness of this morning, in and out faster and faster..but still I am a sleep.
I'm in my bed already, it was a long day ... So I will add tomorrow what's left...
Friday, 16 October 2009
Day 18
Dynamic dynamic
What a fantastic morning!!! Well yeah I tried to wake up for half an hour and I was in my bad lazy like a cat...and then I finally stand up!
Lemon honey all is there... Yesterday I put everything on cd so I don't need a pc...
So much energy I feel this morning so much happiness, I'm flying around the house.
Time to start.
Breathing breathing in and out
Thoughs are flying that and that
But I still enjoy my flight
Flying high, flying high :)))
My soul is singing today in the grace of master.
Catharsis was funny today. At the beginning anger pillows fly some shaking...than some faces started coming up some strange silent laugh he he was funny witnessing this, than as usual all stopped and I'm like a tree under the wind.
Hoo Hoo Hoo my hands are raised to the sky my feet don't touch the ground. I'm jumping jumping high and high. Then I just jump on my heals and energy starts flowing up and up. Next moment and I'm not there its amazing experience when you feel just energy coming out with sound Hoo like a straw I am.
STOP! Oh what a bliss!!! No language can describe this feeling or this state no words I can find just silence in me. My heart chakra is hot I feel like energy coming out of it. Some moments past I can hear around me world are waking up and my body just stand there in the middle of the room blissful with energy and love. Than suddenly something was failing down from the sound floor, and there was a sound like a wall or something.... Well I stayed freeze as ice-sculpture...
And them my old friend by name Mind came again, and started own monologue....
Then music flown me away.... all my body was filled with love and grace... I feel so happy and full of energy for the rest of the day! It is a great pleasure to meditate and taking it through the day meditation in each moment of the life!
Life is beautiful!
Jai Osho!
What a fantastic morning!!! Well yeah I tried to wake up for half an hour and I was in my bad lazy like a cat...and then I finally stand up!
Lemon honey all is there... Yesterday I put everything on cd so I don't need a pc...
So much energy I feel this morning so much happiness, I'm flying around the house.
Time to start.
Breathing breathing in and out
Thoughs are flying that and that
But I still enjoy my flight
Flying high, flying high :)))
My soul is singing today in the grace of master.
Catharsis was funny today. At the beginning anger pillows fly some shaking...than some faces started coming up some strange silent laugh he he was funny witnessing this, than as usual all stopped and I'm like a tree under the wind.
Hoo Hoo Hoo my hands are raised to the sky my feet don't touch the ground. I'm jumping jumping high and high. Then I just jump on my heals and energy starts flowing up and up. Next moment and I'm not there its amazing experience when you feel just energy coming out with sound Hoo like a straw I am.
STOP! Oh what a bliss!!! No language can describe this feeling or this state no words I can find just silence in me. My heart chakra is hot I feel like energy coming out of it. Some moments past I can hear around me world are waking up and my body just stand there in the middle of the room blissful with energy and love. Than suddenly something was failing down from the sound floor, and there was a sound like a wall or something.... Well I stayed freeze as ice-sculpture...
And them my old friend by name Mind came again, and started own monologue....
Then music flown me away.... all my body was filled with love and grace... I feel so happy and full of energy for the rest of the day! It is a great pleasure to meditate and taking it through the day meditation in each moment of the life!
Life is beautiful!
Jai Osho!
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Day 17
Early morning, alarm is going ringing again and again.
Dreams are fading away morning knock on the door.
Lemon tea, honey all as usual.... I get so use to it.... My small routine.....
Gatchami prayer .... silent drops on my mind.....
His divine voice is guiding e through out the first stage, breath in, breath out, outside is still dark inside is already lighted candle of love...... Breathing taking me away, and taking me back to myself. Back and forwards I am in between....
Catharsis, well its something that not gong here, it is hard, it is quite, I'm just there.... pilows have rest today, well just a little bit. And then... I don't remember.... I am writing again in the evening, so I don't remember what was happening in that stage, I think I was just flowing from one side to another...
Hoo Hoo Hoo I just jump, jump, my heals touch the ground and something raising up, I forget myself in this stage, I feel so much bliss, I am no more here.... I love this stage and I just disappear in it, what I can not say about first two. And I jump and jump...
STOP! And I stop, someone in the kitchen noisy, cars and buses busy outside, sun is slowly rising in the sky. And here my mind comes to the scene:
Oh my God, enough!
its too much,
what the f**ck?
too long today, lets switch to the next track.
oh no, its hurting everywhere. Common!!!!!
Ahahahahha I was resisting not to laugh. But it continued in the same way for quite a while. Than few moments of silence, and music start to celebrate! Celebrate new day, new life! I notice that dance becoming deeper and deeper each time, and more grace in movements, I love it! I just Love!
Today is Thursday and my first meditation group will be at 5pm .
It went fantastic! Thank you to all who came! Hope to see you next time! To share, to love, to meditate!
Jai Osho
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Day 16
Today as I start late work I alow myself to sleep a bit longer.
Maroon robe is on, tea is lemony and sweet honey as usual...
Breath breath it was usual nothing special...sometimes I stopped...then it was deep breathing and then I got back to my mind...so interesting... Catharsis started my pillows were hit and jumped on them...some desperateness was there, then I stood up and was shaking around my yoga mat rearing like a dragon...quite dragon :) then I started to come down like suddenly I have been shaken by something it was taking me away I started to loose control screams were coming out of me it was happening for some moments, but my mind made me come back as I was scared if I loose absolute control, well I was worried about my flatmates.
Then was Hoo Hoo Hoo and I was jumping one moment bliss one moment mind. My body was completely against this stage almost at the end I almost sit down, but then something inside me throw me on the mat and with more energy I restarted.
STOP! And silence started pouring down on me...and for some moment was all quite but then the mind started to chat, I amazed how this machine never tired, and on such a ordinary things like oh this and that I need to write on the blog, I have to do this. All the time its in the future... Come back come back I tell myself and I come back to the centre. Then mind try tricks to sit down, but I'm like a tree I can't move I just stand. So I stand and than body could not resist anymore and u had to go to the rest room. I came back and flown to the dance...to the celebration. To the new day....
Some strange thing urged inside me, that I need an evening meditation too, I felt need of it this morning. To complete the day. I think I will start Gaurishenkar in the evening.
Also after pain in my heart and third eye chakra, I feel headache almost every day, well actually 2nd day in a row and heart chakra is very sensitive.
Another thing that happening that from the day I started to do dynamic everyday my manager just an angel with me, she was stressed a lot, but now seems all is good with her, but this is completely another story.
Maroon robe is on, tea is lemony and sweet honey as usual...
Breath breath it was usual nothing special...sometimes I stopped...then it was deep breathing and then I got back to my mind...so interesting... Catharsis started my pillows were hit and jumped on them...some desperateness was there, then I stood up and was shaking around my yoga mat rearing like a dragon...quite dragon :) then I started to come down like suddenly I have been shaken by something it was taking me away I started to loose control screams were coming out of me it was happening for some moments, but my mind made me come back as I was scared if I loose absolute control, well I was worried about my flatmates.
Then was Hoo Hoo Hoo and I was jumping one moment bliss one moment mind. My body was completely against this stage almost at the end I almost sit down, but then something inside me throw me on the mat and with more energy I restarted.
STOP! And silence started pouring down on me...and for some moment was all quite but then the mind started to chat, I amazed how this machine never tired, and on such a ordinary things like oh this and that I need to write on the blog, I have to do this. All the time its in the future... Come back come back I tell myself and I come back to the centre. Then mind try tricks to sit down, but I'm like a tree I can't move I just stand. So I stand and than body could not resist anymore and u had to go to the rest room. I came back and flown to the dance...to the celebration. To the new day....
Some strange thing urged inside me, that I need an evening meditation too, I felt need of it this morning. To complete the day. I think I will start Gaurishenkar in the evening.
Also after pain in my heart and third eye chakra, I feel headache almost every day, well actually 2nd day in a row and heart chakra is very sensitive.
Another thing that happening that from the day I started to do dynamic everyday my manager just an angel with me, she was stressed a lot, but now seems all is good with her, but this is completely another story.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
